Debby Dearest

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True Life: Debby Jolissaint – "Becky"

April20

The Dramatic Part:

My mother has always wanted a daughter of her own. Between the ages of 18 and 40, my mother gave birth to 4 boys. If you remember from the previous entry, she had my half-brother at a very young age and the other 3 boys shortly after she married my father, Greg Jolissaint. I do, however, have a half-sister from my father’s previous marriage. Having such a big family has been the best blessing I could ever ask for. I have never once thought of my oldest brother and my sister as being “half” siblings. In fact, I didn’t even know that they were my half siblings until I was around 7 or 8 years old. Maybe I didn’t care, maybe the thought never even crossed my mind, or maybe I loved them so much that I couldn’t even possibly think of them being anything other than 100% family. Then again, what does it mean to be family? The wonderful thing about love is that there can never be enough of it.

The Funny Part:

My mother has always had dreams about having a daughter named Rebecca. I mean could you blame her? After having 4 boys, all she wanted was a daughter she could dress up, take shopping, and talk about boys with…I guess you can say she got me instead — good times. So after trying essentially half of her life to conceive a baby girl, my mother decided to invest in a promising alternative: an inbred Cocker Spaniel, which my mother named Becky. Although Becky wasn’t very feminine, preferred nudity over dressing up, and was more interested in sodomizing stuffed animals than talking about boys, my mother loved Becky as her own. Becky was an untamed, wild spirit. Literally, she was so inbred that training her wasn’t even an option. Despite her intellectual setbacks and disabilities, the family still loves her to this day for the wonderful person she is, and obviously not what she has to offer.

When Becky was 3 years old (21 in dog years) my mother decided to get another Cocker Spaniel. This time she got a little boy, which she named Jackson. Little did the family know that this innocent puppy would cause one of the most dramatic non-human events I have ever had to personally deal with. After turning almost 7 in dog years, Jackson started to develop sexual feelings toward Becky. Becky did not reciprocate such affection. However, with nearly 2 weeks of persistence from Jackson, Becky eventually grew to love Jackson for the handsome tween he would soon become. Just like Mary Kay Letourneau, Becky had found her mate, her love, her baby daddy. My parents knew that if they did not “fix” the problem soon, we would have a borderline fiasco on our hands. Given that both of my parents work full time, the problem was never “fixed.” Becky became preggers with Jackson’s children, all 7 of them. I forgot to mention one small detail, Jackson and Becky have biologically the same parents – do the math. My parents were hysterical when they found out Becky was impregnated. Ironically, after coming to terms with their predicament, my mother decided to completely change her story and RAVE about how much of a blessing it was to have puppies on the way! These puppies were realllll special and extra inbred. Again, good times.

P.s. I saw Becky giving birth and I almost keeled over.

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Josef, Hannah, Jackson, and Becky

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Josef and Jackson howling

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Becky and her puppies

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Puppies

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More puppies!

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2 Comments to

“True Life: Debby Jolissaint – "Becky"”

  1. Avatar April 20th, 2010 at 1:09 pm charles Says:

    hah, that’s a great story. also adorable puppies.


  2. Avatar April 20th, 2010 at 8:11 pm Joe Says:

    cute pups!!



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